As I was surfing the web this evening, I came across a story about Kathleen Vermillion and her work in Las Vegas among homeless youth. She too had dealt in the past with homelessness, depression, and substance abuse. Three years ago, as she pursued political office, she described her life as a "rags to riches" story. However, in recent weeks, things began to unravel and she found herself face to face with issues, I' sure she felt were in her past. I've posted the link below so I won't go into detail with her story but simply use it as a launching pad for commenting on my own experience.
I've mentioned before that in 2008 I was diagnosed with depression. In a brief moment in time, my emotions crashed around me, leaving me unable to sort through various personal issues I had been dealing with for several years. Through therapy, I found out that a major part of my depression was situational. Being unemployed and unable to meet my basic financial needs was the major trigger; so long as I was working things were fine. But when the economy tanked and I found myself without a job or a place to call home, the downward spiral began. I have struggled with recurring depression over the past several weeks as the prospects of finding work dimmed and my remaining finances dwindled. It can be difficult to reach out for help because it involves an uncomfortable level of vulnerability. Many times I've thought that I had my personal demons under control only to find out that they were just waiting in the shadows for an opportunity.
Since I've started this blog, circumstances have changed. Last week, I was offered a position with a firm that does the lawn maintenance at Arlington National Cemetery. I am scheduled to start work in mid-March, and while that would be a very good thing, I can't count on any position until I actually start work. Circumstances change and anything could happen. I hope for the best but am prepared for disappointment. I've began the process of seeing a counselor once again, something that I haven't done since I was in the VA hospital in Johnson City over a year ago. Things aren't as bad as they were four years ago, and just simply having a job offer has made a difference. I want to keep moving forward and not fall back into old thought patterns and destructive habits. Success in life is never final; it is something that I must continually reach for.
For more on Kathleen Vermillion, click here.
