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| Axel and I along the Blue Ridge Parkway, July 2012. |
Relationships are hard work! This summer I have been working on mine. Back in the spring, as I have mentioned previously, I fell in love again. At first, everything was fresh and it was all smiles and happy times. We wanted nothing more than to be in each others company and that was enough. We dreamed and made plans to do things together and some things actually happened. In July, Axel and I drove to Tennessee together and while it was mainly for a court appearance for child support, it became something of a mini-vacation for us. About a month ago, we drove to Connecticut to visit of friend of his and to take part is his god child's birthday. Although the trip itself had moments of stress, it was nonetheless enjoyable to get away from everything and just be together. It is the daily grind of everyday life though-dealing with work schedules, finances and free time-where things get tough and complicated.
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While on our trip to Tennessee, Axel and I met up with my
close friend and her daughter. Pictures, L to R: Autumn Hensley,
Axel, myself and Janet Hensley. |
When we first met, we really didn't know each other but we knew there was something that attracted us to each other. I moved in believing it was best to be together as much as possible. I did not want to be apart from him anymore than I had to. Where a lot of people spend months or years dating and getting to know each other before taking that step, we took the plunge early on and now are discovering each others imperfections in much more intimate situations. I think we are both trying to make things work, but both of us are finding the adjustment more difficult than we expected.
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Axel, enjoying a moment at a lake along
the Blue Ridge Parkway.
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Axel had been in his previous relationship for 8 years before I came along and in fact, that relationship had just ended not too long before we met. His biggest challenge in our relationship has been trust. I, on the other hand, had lived by myself for 15 years and had become used to doing what I wanted, when I wanted with no explanation to anyone needed. My biggest challenge in our relationship has been communication. One thing we both agreed upon in the beginning was to have a monogamous relationship. With STD's still a real problem within the gay community, we were both clean and wanted to stay that way and the best method was to be committed to each other sexually. That was a particularly difficult commitment for me especially to make but I can honestly say that through all the stress of working out the knots in our relationship, neither one of us has strayed from that commitment.
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My favorite photo of us together, and
one of the first! |
We have been together for four months. We still don't know each other as well as we would like, but each day brings new discoveries, some good and some bad. It would be easy to throw the towel in and give up, walk away and move on. But that is the easy way out and doesn't really solve anything. We are working things out still and although we may not say it as often as we should, we love each other deeply. Relationships are never easy. True love. the kind that will last through the storms of life, is hard work.
